Multi-tasking Combinations to Avoid
While I’m a bit of a multi-tasker myself, I find that many combinations are simply not suitable together. For example:
- Putting in contact lenses while bull-fighting
- Bikini waxing while practicing the luge
- Ransacking a city while baby-sitting
- Performing testicular surgery while driving in NASCAR
- Committing hari kiri while toasting the bride and groom
- Raking leaves while pursuing a criminal
- Grooming a pet while eating spaghetti
- Training a dog to sit while jogging
- Talking to Davezilla while dressed as a clown
- What combinations would you avoid?
1) watching x-files and having sex of any kind that involves another person
2)using a color photocopier to make a thousand copies of a dirty picture left behind by another customer and talking to a very religious couple about their wedding invitations (insert hilarious mixup with nudey photo and photo of bride and groom)
3)hitting waitress while girlfriend is looking for breath mint
4)slaying dragon and texting best buddy about fantastic feat
5)talking religion with JW’s in poorly fitting boxer shorts first thing in the morning and trying to hit on the sexy JW
6)attempting to reverse the cross-interference from a black hole’s gravity well while trying to tell someone you’re really just on hiatus from ‘the whole work thing’
uh. yeah. that’s it
Picking your nose and putting a model car together.
The only one? Inhaling while swallowing.
1) Having a bout of tourettes whilst giving a speech
2) Arranging a mothers group and swinger party on the same day
3) Eating breakfast whilst replying on Davezilla (I try this all the time, its tricky)
4) Buying a book when you have read the last page
5) Getting dressed in the bath
6) Having sex whilst ordering a take out (or leaving the phone plugged in Dave
1. Cooking bacon while trying to feed the dog. All the dog wants is my bacon, not some crappy dry kibble.
2. Trying to do a craft that involves painting with twin toddlers while trying to keep said twins from playing with the paint. I tried it earlier today and it did not go well.
3. Lying to my sister about not eating all the chocolate chip cookies while licking the crumbs off my fingers. Mmmm, cookies.
All this multi-tasking done in one day.
1. Working while unmotivated.
while seeing :limp:.
2. Tying your shoelaces while driving a forklift.
3. Taking a bath with a scared cat on the rim. (Really do not recommend that!)
4. Thinking of
All I have to say right now is how about that entire list at the same time……….simple enough….right?
Planting flowers while getting a bikini wax.
- Shaving while skydiving
- Making baloney sandwiches while dancing the hula
- Washing your car while having a root canal
- Shining your shoes while learning sign language
- Tickling your own foot while singing the National Anthem
- Brushing your hair while saving people from a burning building
Flossing your teeth while changing the cat litter pan.
I dunno Dave, Nº. 5 seems quite appropriate if the bride and groom happened to be Britney and Kevin for example.
Clearing a sewer pipe whilst eating lunch.
Changing a messy diaper while eating pudding?
chillin’ in the star trek crip snorting dave’s insanity sauce (no. 5) and checking out saucy panties blog. talk about a tug of war!
[Comment ID #71299 will be quoted here]
good one.
and you can’t tickle your own foot - successfully. Or can you?
Yodeling while shotgunning a PBR tallboy.
Other combinations to avoid:
Typing a 1,200 word email via blackberry while running the 800 meter hurdles.
Shaving your *ahem* while climbing the rope in gym class.
Nude yoga while attending important business meeting.
Avoid the list, while avoiding the urge to add to the list.
Patting your head and rubbing your belly at the same time. IT JUST CAN’T BE DONE!
Trying to make espresso in the portable espresso maker while being chased by a bear.
Plucking your eyebrows while driving. OUCH!
Feeding your little brother while trying to stick a burr up a wildcat’s
behind.
Drinking Dr. Pepper while reading all these comments……..what is hari kiri?
Praying for peace while ligthing the fuse on the car bomb
Taling about your boss on your cellphone during your anual review with your boss
Having sex with your girlfriend while arguing with your wife about your kids
Looking at pictures of Mandy ass while at work
Using a laxative while self-adminstering an enema…
trust me!
After the weekend, eating bolognese whilst wearing a white top !!