Irrefutable Historical Evidence!

Posted by Davezilla 25 April, 2006 Latest: Myra, shawn, dougieace, CroneWynd, Ace,

Jesus was Swedish!

Tags: .
  • Link of the Day: Pimp My Snack
  • Today is: National Zucchini Bread Day

43 comments:

  1. Mandy, 25, April 2006, 0:27 |  
    Mandy

    So those Gummi Fish represent Jesus. Ooooookay! :roll:

     
  2. Kenn, 25, April 2006, 1:36 |  

    Sure… doesn’t everyone remember the miracle of the loaves and the lutefisk?

     
  3. John in Anonmyityville, 25, April 2006, 1:50 |  

    Anyone notice the address is ‘White House’ something? Ain’t that just a little bit of a coincedence?

     
  4. Tina Marie, 25, April 2006, 2:05 |  
    Tina Marie

    Swedish? Ya, und his real name was Yesus.

    Think about it, because it makes sense. After all, his main disciples name was Pieter! :roll:

     
  5. Tina Marie, 25, April 2006, 2:07 |  
    Tina Marie

    P.S. Ken–that sure changes communion a lot. Body of Christ, broken for you, Fish of Christ, soaked in lye until it looks like Fish Jello, uh…uh…molded for you…

     
  6. Spud, 25, April 2006, 2:45 |  
    Spud

    Jesus was a Viking?

    :wtf:

     
  7. Tina Marie, 25, April 2006, 2:58 |  
    Tina Marie

    No, Spud! He was a clean-cut account-looking type who dug blonde chicks with big bosums. Ya, for sure he was. See the picture?

     
  8. Anna, 25, April 2006, 3:04 |  

    Hell no, he was DUTCH!!! We had lots more water to walk on. And that walking on water ‘thing’ was a trick …… everybody (here) knows about that …. he had woorden shoes!

     
  9. Anna, 25, April 2006, 3:05 |  

    wooden shoes, sorry

     
  10. Master Solace, 25, April 2006, 3:10 |  
    Master Solace

    All I can say about this is… :wtf:

     
  11. alaskan_passion, 25, April 2006, 3:38 |  

    well that explaines why swedish men think they are GODS GIFT to women :twisted:

     
  12. Lung the Younger, 25, April 2006, 3:40 |  

    That’s why it took so long to crucify Christ. The assembly instructions for the cross were straightforward enough and hinges where easy to put on, but screwing his hands and feet to it was really difficult with that tiny allen wrench. And then one of the Roman guards let a washer fall out of the polyethene bag and couldn’t find it so he had to go back to the store and go through that whole damn maze of bedroom furniture and fitted kitchens before he could get a replacement. Still , if you want a reasonably tasteful crucifixion that looks good in soft lighting at an affordable price, that’s what you gotta do.

     
  13. alaskan_passion, 25, April 2006, 3:43 |  

    changes your whole view on the movie Hidi :wtf:

     
  14. paul, 25, April 2006, 3:59 |  

    So I’ve been spelling it wrong, it’s Bjorn again Christians ????

     
  15. Timmmy, 25, April 2006, 4:17 |  

    That’s Jesus?
    Last week he tried to sell me insurance.

     
  16. Marcus, 25, April 2006, 5:27 |  

    Perta perta borsht bhrsht. Gorta beeden berdan. Glok gok meda berda berda.

    Who would probably say this?

    That snack food looked disgusting I hope that no one buys it.

     
  17. Stevie C, 25, April 2006, 5:49 |  

    So, Bjorn again Christians are from Tennessee, huh? Nah, the jokes are just too easy.

    By the way, never offer someone a Fistful of Fudge. Especially on the first date. :wtf:

     
  18. Spud, 25, April 2006, 7:30 |  
    Spud

    I still like the idea of Jesus wearing a horned viking hat.

     
  19. mikeB, 25, April 2006, 7:38 |  
    mikeB

    I like it. Advantages:
    1. Communion wafers would be chocolate dipped.
    2. Random nudity by buxom blonde women would be church approved
    3. The Immigrant Song would finally make sense.

     
  20. Driver, 25, April 2006, 7:54 |  

    [Comment ID #45953 will be quoted here]
    The swedish chef from the muppets of course .
    Why does Yesus look like a young Steve Martin ?

     
  21. bhamm, 25, April 2006, 8:00 |  

    Oh, where to start…

    - How about that picture? I’m real sure Jesus wore a SUIT while he was delivering his sermons. The penny-loafers were excellent for those long walks through Bethlehem.
    - Jesus’ original Swedish name. Hurgen Von BergenJergen.
    - I imagine the TV ad would go something like this… “RELIGEOUS FACTS THAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW! YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE FOREVER!” 10dollarsforthebookplus2dollarsshippingandhandlingnoneofthesefacts canbeprovenbutyourasuckerforbuyingthebookanywayssoitsfair
    CALL NOW!

    And finally…
    - The ad came from “White House” Tennessee. Wow. Need I say more?

     
  22. bhamm, 25, April 2006, 8:01 |  

    (Wow… sorry about that joke, I didn’t know it would come out looking like that! I apologize!)

     
  23. Davezilla, 25, April 2006, 8:13 |  
    Davezilla

    (fixed it Bhamm) :mrgreen:

     
  24. Merth, 25, April 2006, 8:42 |  

    Man, I had no idea that Jesus looked like Jay Mohr. :dead:

     
  25. Lung the Younger, 25, April 2006, 8:48 |  

    Well of course he was Swedish. You only have to look at Leonardo Da Vinci’s depiction of The Last Smorgesboard.

     
  26. Bob, 25, April 2006, 9:39 |  

    did he teach the sven deadly sins? was the sea of galilee really lake geneva? Friends I come unto you today to speak to you of a revelation….Gawd says tithe unto me 90% of your weekly income and I will gaurantee your entry into the kingdom or double your money back. I know this works friend, because a fellow I was confrencing with died just last week and he has yet to come back for his money….. say amen flock….halliluyas close enough.

     
  27. Paige, 25, April 2006, 10:11 |  

    :wtf: Thats all I have to say about that. Loved the link. Especially the pimped-out twix!!!Yummy!

     
  28. Paige, 25, April 2006, 10:11 |  

    :wtf: Thats all I have to say about that. Loved the link. Especially the pimped-out twix!!!Yummy!

     
  29. mmiim, 25, April 2006, 10:28 |  

    Maybe jesus’ original Swedish name was Johan Svensson.
    And of course he was wearing a suit!
    Jesus kommer från Sverige YEY.

     
  30. Meagan, 25, April 2006, 10:31 |  

    I can’t think of anything to say except, “Oh my God!” :wtf:

     
  31. Patrick, 25, April 2006, 12:02 |  

    “MMMMMMM! Giant creme egg. Aaaaaaaaaagh”. Sorry, my Homer Simpson impression is a little rusty.
    Yumpin’ Yiminy, Yeesus is Svedish! Does that mean Garrison Keillor is Yohn the Baptist? :?: The Last Smorgasbord, Bjorn again, loaves and lutefisk- that’s why I like hanging out with this crowd of freaks!
    Anna, thanks for clearing up that whole walking on water thing-wooden shoes, who’da thunk it?

     
  32. Esther, 25, April 2006, 12:26 |  

    I’d type something witty, except I can’t stop laughing. :)

     
  33. Myra, 25, April 2006, 13:21 |  

    They are kidding, right? I’m ashamed to say I am from the South with crap like that coming out of it. Never knew Jesus looked like a used car salelsman. How did those ancient Swedes know Hebrew and Aramaic? Looks like Mel got it all wrong in the “Passion”. What a crock!!!! :oops:

     
  34. Tina Marie, 25, April 2006, 13:48 |  
    Tina Marie

    OMG, Hurgen vonBergenJergen?? Bjorn-again Christians?

    You guys positively kill me. Now if I could only use all this in my next sermon, titled “The Jesus you never knew.” I wonder if putting a picture of the Swedish chef next to the title would be a dead giveaway?

    Bork bork bork!!

     
  35. shawn, 25, April 2006, 15:50 |  

    Now I know why all the bibles I’ve ever had show Jesus looking like The Nuge.

     
  36. Master Solace, 25, April 2006, 16:15 |  
    Master Solace

    He almost looks like he should be on TV doing one of those commercials for an injury law firm…

    “GOD & Moses: Attorneys at Law”
    “We can part the Red Sea…what can they do!!??!!”

    :twisted:

     
  37. dougieace, 25, April 2006, 17:45 |  

    dammit,i just got through explaining jesus being of color to the” born again”, racist redneck at work.it would be funny, if it wasnt true.

     
  38. CroneWynd, 25, April 2006, 18:29 |  

    [Comment ID #45949 will be quoted here]

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh My Gods and Goddesses YES!!!

     
  39. Ace, 25, April 2006, 22:37 |  

    [Comment ID #46015 will be quoted here]

    Wow! Steve Martin is Yesus and King Tut?!

     
  40. Driver, 25, April 2006, 23:10 |  

    He is two Wiiild and Craaazy guys ! :geek: :geek:

     
  41. Ace, 25, April 2006, 23:40 |  

    [Comment ID #46129 will be quoted here]

    Nice!

     
  42. Driver, 26, April 2006, 0:09 |  

    Ace
    It’s good to know the real SNL still lives .

    Heres to the Festrunk brothers and american breast’s :java:

    Dave you need a beer mug icon .

     
  43. Ace, 26, April 2006, 1:21 |  

    Cheers Driver! :java:!!!!