That shit don’t count an’ you know it.

Dougie: “I don’t eat the snatch, and you shouldn’t nei-thuh.”
Me: “Oh? Why’s that?”
Dougie: “Cause that shit make you faggot.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Dougie: “Anytime you put your mouth where you dick has been—that shit make you faggot.”
Me: “So that would make your wife a lesbian?”
Dougie: “Fuck you! How you figure that shit?”
Me: “Well, she’s putting her mouth where her pussy has been. It stands to reason.”
Dougie: “That shit don’t count an’ you know it.”

Tags: , .

61 comments:

  1. Simon7, 13, April 2006, 22:48 |  

    his wife’s a lucky lucky girl… I bet she’s the envy of all her friends.

     
  2. JFLY, 13, April 2006, 23:06 |  

    With that reasoning he’d be a child molester too, wouldn’t he? What a bonehead….

     
  3. Master Solace, 13, April 2006, 23:24 |  
    Master Solace

    I don’t know what to say about this…give me a little…

    But the link for the day…nice video…a lot better than “Night of Fire”…

     
  4. TheFaramir, 13, April 2006, 23:33 |  
    TheFaramir

    So…how do you end up in such conversations with such people, anyhow?

     
  5. Ace, 13, April 2006, 23:36 |  

    And hey drive away in a car, off to a remote place so he can love her tender.

    It’s like the finnish Donnie and Marie with the Mickey Mouse club doing a tribute to Grease.

     
  6. Master Solace, 13, April 2006, 23:39 |  
    Master Solace

    [Comment ID #42934 will be quoted here]

    Dave’s lucky like that…

     
  7. b-dizzy, 13, April 2006, 23:40 |  

    Wow… that really is the best music video ever! For some reason I have a thought in my head though. Why can I picture Benny Hill and Jackie Wright doing a dance and comedy routine to it?

     
  8. Kwade, 13, April 2006, 23:47 |  

    Dougie sounds like a load of fun…..er just a load of…..(insert your own phrase here) :roll:

     
  9. JFLY, 14, April 2006, 0:27 |  

    Better warn him that kissing his mom qualifies as incest!

     
  10. benendetto, 14, April 2006, 1:53 |  

    im still in a state of shock from night of fire

     
  11. benendetto, 14, April 2006, 2:02 |  

    i have a 4 questions
    1. What about tomarrow?
    2. How can i be sure your not pretender?
    3. Your lips are taste of wine? (is she an alchoholic?)
    4. WHAT THE FUCK???

     
  12. Marcus, 14, April 2006, 2:13 |  
    Marcus

    And we wonder why we don’t seem to be moving ahead. I think that we should encourage natural selection. I also recommend removing the thumbs and sterilization. Eugenics is the way to go. :lol: :wtf: :lol: :wtf:

    The video, ABBA with bad lyrics and music. Let’s all vomit together. Someone should ban that video and Night of Fire from the public. My ears hurt and they are bleeding.

     
  13. Becky, 14, April 2006, 4:51 |  

    no comment :puke:

     
  14. Driver, 14, April 2006, 5:37 |  

    I wish I could dance with the red pants squad , they gave me boogie fever :P :wtf:

     
  15. prtyprincess, 14, April 2006, 6:15 |  
    prtyprincess

    I think I agree with JFLY,Deep girl, deep. :lol:

     
  16. Nikki, 14, April 2006, 6:31 |  

    The mental image I have of this man is charming.

    Also, who knew the Finnish had such snappy dance moves? Did they choreograph this on the fly?

     
  17. bhamm, 14, April 2006, 6:56 |  

    Wow. I just have to say, I’m impressed this guy is even married. Gotta be honest with you, I really can’t see an appropriate come-on line coming out of this guy unless it included the word “alcohol”, “rich”, or “10 inches”.

    BHamm’s new words of wisdom to live by: “That shit make you faggot.”

     
  18. Craig, 14, April 2006, 7:14 |  

    Hello everyone, this is god. Do not pay any attention to dougie, those moves will not make you “faggot”. See you in a couple of days!”

     
  19. mitch, 14, April 2006, 8:19 |  

    Dave, there are days when I worry about your soul. Today’s not one of them. Your exquisite use of pre-Wittenstein logic to disorient and confuse your friend Dougie, was masterful. You, my friend, are so full of shit…but in a good way.

     
  20. Merth, 14, April 2006, 9:06 |  

    :dead:

    I swear I live in a protective bubble. I cannot believe there are people like this alive in the world today.

     
  21. Davezilla, 14, April 2006, 9:07 |  
    Davezilla

    [Comment ID #43024 will be quoted here]

    Mitch, if you’re going to attempt to intellectually berate me, at least get the philosopher’s name correct. It’s Wittgenstein. :P

     
  22. bella, 14, April 2006, 9:26 |  

    this doesn’t count for three reasons:
    1. she doesn’t have to be a lesbian, she can be bi
    2.its just being horny, some girls get turned on enough to do watever u want them to do
    3. what guy would really care if she’s lesbian or not, he’s married to some kinky bitch

    DUH!!!! :roll:

     
  23. lucygoosy2004, 14, April 2006, 9:32 |  

    Was that an actual conversation??? I guess this guy hasnt seen “Brokeback Mountain”. It takes more than kissing a woman to make a man gay!!Like a tryst in a tent while herding sheep!!! :wang:

     
  24. Mandy, 14, April 2006, 9:43 |  
    Mandy

    [Comment ID #43040 will be quoted here]

    You’re missing the point entirely, Bella. :roll: Is school out or something?

     
  25. Nikki, 14, April 2006, 9:56 |  

    [Comment ID #43043 will be quoted here]

    Spring break.

     
  26. Sue Donim, 14, April 2006, 10:22 |  

    Oh Rexy, you’re so sexy! Rex Manning lives!

     
  27. Jeffro, 14, April 2006, 10:33 |  

    I wonder if Dougie kisses his wife? Wouldn’t that make him a “faggot”? Unless his wife doesn’t go down on him. I have never encouraged a woman NOT to do that but in this situation…
    I wonder how dougie feels about snowballin’ ?

     
  28. family jules, 14, April 2006, 12:12 |  

    A good friend of mine reminds me at times like this….

    “Never try to teach a pig to sing, it’s a waste of your time and it only irritates the pig.”

    He also tells me, “Never play with the crazy people.” I try, but their logic (or lack thereof) is so damn amusing sometimes!

     
  29. benendetto, 14, April 2006, 12:18 |  

    bi people piss me off. I mean come on make up your mind are you straight or homosexual. :troll:

     
  30. MrDoug, 14, April 2006, 12:36 |  

    I am glad that Dave’s pal is trying to take care of him warning him the dangers of Dave being made into a faggot. Is this a painful process? What does it entail? Banjo music? Men named bubba? I think you need to find out more from Douggie, worst case we can have enough info to start a new cult in the south.

    Today is: National Pecan Day …
    How is it pronounced? Pee Can? Puh Con?

    Anyone help me with this?

     
  31. joeho, 14, April 2006, 12:56 |  

    if that makes me a fagot then i’m a raving faggot :o

     
  32. kate, 14, April 2006, 13:24 |  

    how do i get apicture on te side of my name oh and nice dave why must YOU know all the crazie ppl just once i would love to meet the ppl you talk to eh?.

     
  33. April, 14, April 2006, 13:25 |  

    His logic makes no sense. Gay men don’t like eating pussy; therefore isn’t he the “faggot”?

     
  34. Darrell, 14, April 2006, 13:32 |  

    [Comment ID #42939 will be quoted here]

    …and we all know where his mom’s mouth has been…

     
  35. Master Solace, 14, April 2006, 13:32 |  
    Master Solace

    [Comment ID #43052 will be quoted here]

    I have no problem with it…bi girls bring friends, they don’t care if YOU bring friends…but you have to share:wang: :twisted:

     
  36. April, 14, April 2006, 13:36 |  

    LMAO. Okay just saw the video. I’m with Sue. Rex Manning lives!

     
  37. Master Solace, 14, April 2006, 13:39 |  
    Master Solace

    And this goes with the unintentional conversation from yesterday…Pee-Wee Herman had two movies…but the first one, “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure”, is important in a different way…it was the directorial debut of Tim Burton…the same Tim Burton responsible for “Edward Scissorhands”, “Batman”, etc…we all know the movies from Tim Burton…thought I’d pass that piece of info along…
    :geek:

     
  38. dougieace, 14, April 2006, 14:25 |  

    by that logic looks like i cant eat dirt anymore.

     
  39. Master Solace, 14, April 2006, 14:31 |  
    Master Solace

    [Comment ID #43064 will be quoted here]

    :wtf:

     
  40. Peaches, 14, April 2006, 14:44 |  

    [Comment ID #43054 will be quoted here]

    Its a matter of preference……..just like Carribean………but I say “Puhcon”

     
  41. Jeffro, 14, April 2006, 14:46 |  

    [Comment ID #43059 will be quoted here]

    One too few times I’d say. Dougie is one load his momma should have swallowed.

     
  42. Peaches, 14, April 2006, 14:48 |  

    He gives the word homophobic a new meaning entirely.
    Where did you find this guy, Dave?

     
  43. Bjorn Freeh, 14, April 2006, 14:51 |  

    [Comment ID #43070 will be quoted here]

    Hmmm… and I say, “Car i BEE an”. How can we be so far apart?

     
  44. carolyn, 14, April 2006, 15:06 |  

    dude sounds like a jerk. and an idiot

     
  45. paddlepoplion, 14, April 2006, 16:10 |  

    New get out of jail free card!

    “Your honor, That shit don’t count an’ you know it.”

     
  46. starhealer, 14, April 2006, 16:42 |  

    [Comment ID #43052 will be quoted here] hey don’t pick on us we just arn’t picky enufe to chose!

    :twisted:

     
  47. Kate, 14, April 2006, 17:04 |  
    Kate

    dave you are a babe thnx for the help you rock and you are so meen to dougie i must learn your ways. :) :D :roll:

     
  48. MrStitch, 14, April 2006, 17:46 |  

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I would almost be willing to bet MTV would get better ratings if they actually played these videos again.

    ehehah… I’d probably watch. :D

     
  49. MrStitch, 14, April 2006, 17:47 |  

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I would almost be willing to bet MTV would get better ratings if they actually played these videos again.

    ehehah… I’d probably watch.

     
  50. MrStitch, 14, April 2006, 17:49 |  

    Sorry…. Wordpress didn’t like something and i re-posted. Something about ‘Couldn’t post header, blah blah blah’

     
  51. Spud, 14, April 2006, 18:07 |  
    Spud

    Mother always said “… try not to have conversations withe idiots dear, people observing may not know who is the idiot”

    Mother was usually right.

    :geek:

     
  52. Marcus, 14, April 2006, 18:54 |  
    Marcus

    [Comment ID #43063 will be quoted here]

    You behave young man or I am going to send you to your room with no supper, tequila, or Mary Jane. Stop talking about PeeWee you naughty naughty little boy. No more wire hangers for you. :evil: :twisted: I knew you were a lesbian… you broke you mama’s heart. Oh, sorry, just gas. :lol: :wtf:

     
  53. Meagan, 14, April 2006, 18:54 |  

    [Comment ID #43047 will be quoted here]

    “Say no more, mon amour. Say no more, mon amour. Say no more, MON AMOUR!”

    :P :P

     
  54. CroneWynd, 14, April 2006, 19:07 |  

    “Snatch” “Faggot” Incredibly bad grammar skills???
    This guy came from a very, very, very shallow gene pool, which needs a large splash of chlorine.

     
  55. gator, 14, April 2006, 19:08 |  

    I think dougie should try to keep his hands away from his mouth because with that kind of reasoning I’m sure he spends alot of time with his :wang: in his hands.

     
  56. djemm, 15, April 2006, 0:33 |  

    [Comment ID #43055 will be quoted here]
    Preach !!!

    :wang: :wang:

     
  57. |nsan|ty, 15, April 2006, 6:07 |  

    [Comment ID #42939 will be quoted here]
    His mom should have swallowed that night…..

    :???:

     
  58. |nsan|ty, 15, April 2006, 6:07 |  

    I think Dave made Dougie watch the video before they had this conversation.

     
  59. Davezilla, 15, April 2006, 9:39 |  
    Davezilla

    [Comment ID #42934 will be quoted here]

    I’m not afraid to go to any place I see weird, old coots hanging out. The more run down the place is, the better the freak watching—with one exception. For some reason, the freaks all be lovin’ Starbucks. Don’t ask me what that’s all about. Haven’t a clue.

     
  60. Mandy, 15, April 2006, 9:41 |  
    Mandy

    Just don’t turn into one of those old coots, Dave :P

     
  61. brianne, 15, April 2006, 17:51 |  

    i feel really sorry for his wife…….. and i wonder if he is the true faggot,hmmmm faggots dont like going down .. he doesnt like going down……… coincidence???? :D :wtf: