Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

66 comments:

1. mikeB, 17, March 2006, 0:18 |  
   

   I loves me some Wal-Marts.

    
2. Spud, 17, March 2006, 1:18 |  
   

   Thats fer shure, thats fer dang shure…

    
3. tian, 17, March 2006, 1:49 |  
   Walmart is a such classy place, that is why I got this photo.

    
4. Master Solace, 17, March 2006, 2:07 |  
   By chance, Dave, did the guys from the plane trip from a few posts back give you this newspaper article? Just wundern’ thatshall

    
5. cbatdux, 17, March 2006, 2:10 |  
   

   Gonna git me one o them fancy Wal-Mart vests to wear when Thelma Lou n me go to the Catfish Guttin party….uh huh. Dave, yew gotta purty mouth……

    
6. JFLY, 17, March 2006, 2:16 |  
   “When we’s go to Wal-mart mah husband wears a suit and his wang-tipped shoes.” :wang:

   Can I choke the next person I see wearing house slippers or pajamas while they’re out shopping? Please???

    
7. WANTWIT, 17, March 2006, 4:14 |  
   man you shouldn’t make fun of people for being so low economically that they haven’t heard of Target. sheesh.

    
8. Ace, 17, March 2006, 4:59 |  
   Yeah, I hates it when I’s gotta get all gussied up and put on my shoes to go to wal-mart. Theys got them fancy floor tiles and indoor plumbing.

   Link: check out page 36 for the wangcaster guitar

   Peaches n Cream is one fine lookin’ critter but what in the hell is a pigfeep?

    
9. Ace, 17, March 2006, 5:05 |  
   Check page 50 on the link also.

    
10. Lung the Younger, 17, March 2006, 5:29 |  
    When is someone going to write the Wal-Mart Harlequin for gals like Debra?

    ‘..she couldn’t quite recall what made her walk to the Home Improvement aisle in the first place. All she could remember was the moment their eyes met. Daryl, this fine specimen if manhood, was wearing his Nascar cap at a rakish angle and a belt buckle fashioned from the door handle of a Ford Pinto still visible beneath his moderate paunch. Astonishingly, there didn’t seem to be even one chili stain on his wifebeater and his tooth to tattoo ratio was almost in double figures. ‘Some dandy!’ she thought ‘ Just as well I put on my clean slippers this mornin’ afore goin’ out.’ Could this man be the father of her future children…as well as the four she already had waiting for her back at the trailer?’

     
11. Becky, 17, March 2006, 5:44 |  
    Wow sorry I’m a tad late on this one……Jimbo or whatever got banned?…….cool…….!!!!!……as for the walmart thing….I just make sure I’m dressed when I go there

     
12. Becky, 17, March 2006, 5:44 |  
    Hey wait!….It’s St. Patty’s day!…Have fun and be safe everyone!

     
13. mitch, 17, March 2006, 6:17 |  
    I love the smell of single digit IQs in the morning. It smells like….Wal-Mart!!!
    Happy St. Patrick’s Day to everyone!!!!!
    I love you Fran!!!!!

     
14. Becky, 17, March 2006, 7:11 |  
    

    Cavymadness!……..The new lunch special at Walmart!…..Imported directly from China!

     
15. Nikki, 17, March 2006, 7:12 |  
    

    Lunch at Wal-Mart. There’s a concept I can’t process.

     
16. Craig, 17, March 2006, 7:26 |  
    [Comment ID #32146 will be quoted here]
    I totally agree. I live in St. Louis, and not only do i see the slipper/pajama combo, i really love it when there are a few people changing there oil in the parking lot. FUCK YOU SAM WALTON! TAKE YOUR WAL-MART CHAIN AND POUND IT UP YOUR ASS!

    On a happier note, happy St. Pat’s day, and happy friday everyone!!!

     
17. Mandy, 17, March 2006, 7:33 |  
    

    [Comment ID #32363 will be quoted here]

    You had me at “moderate paunch”. Spewed my grapefruit juice everywhere.

     
18. Anita Mann-Badley, 17, March 2006, 7:33 |  
    Today is the day we celebrate St. Patrick who drove all the snakes out of Ireland and into the Walton family.

    I’m wearing orange, today.

     
19. bob, 17, March 2006, 7:45 |  
    wal-mart is the only place I can find that has maternity clothes for men to cover my paunch, so im quite loyal to them. Also you gotta admit when the ac comes on the music of the air passing through the curlers in the womens hair is quite flutelike.

     
20. bob, 17, March 2006, 7:48 |  
    Mandy I like the icon vey much. Happy st pattys day everyone, Its my sons 18th birthday I hate to think what will happen on his 21st

     
21. Patrick, 17, March 2006, 7:48 |  
    Happy Saint Me Day! I’ve been trying half my life to convince anyone who will listen to buy me lunch in honor of my namesake. Cheap bastards.

     
22. bhamm, 17, March 2006, 8:00 |  
    “Hey, darlin, where’re mah jeans that DON’T have the hole in ‘em? I is fixin’ ta go ta Wal-Mart!”
    “I think them kids are usin’ ‘em ta wash the tractor agin. Jes put on your torn ones and go ta Dollar Palace!”

    Happy St. Patty’s Day!

     
23. Ben Doone, 17, March 2006, 8:35 |  
    Aye, ’tis a wunderful day to love the Irish. I think I have time for this around noon

     
24. Kinyou, 17, March 2006, 8:37 |  
    Heeeey, what’s so wrong about getting dressed up to go to wal-mart? Infact, I do that.. every now and then, but then again, that’s usually only because there’s someone that I know working in the one that I live near by, and well.. sometimes when a woman likes a man and… lol jk

    But, what about her? You think she was trying to impress an old man that hasn’t been laid in 60 years? Seriously. You should think about how other people see things!!!

     
25. x on, 17, March 2006, 8:37 |  
    Irish is as Irish does

     
26. Merth, 17, March 2006, 9:14 |  
    Wow… absolutely… wow.

    The Dollar Store rules. But, I can only imagine the extent of the Dollar Palace. I am sure it is a great place to buy imitation pink flamingos, enegized batteries, and suny electronics.

    Getting dressed up to go to Wal-Mart is like getting dressed up to go to the Waffle House.

     
27. Paige, 17, March 2006, 9:21 |  
    If you dont think God has a sense of humor, just go to Wal-Mart and look at the people there.(Thanks Carlos Mencia) Happy Saint Pattys to everyone. Party til you puke!!!!!!!

     
28. Craig, 17, March 2006, 9:30 |  
    LOL at Anita Mann-Badely, my friends and i are going to attend the St. Pats parade sporting all orange. Really pisses the catholics off.

     
29. laceylegacey, 17, March 2006, 9:35 |  
    [Comment ID #32146 will be quoted here]Yes you can as a matter of I will help if you like we can make it a new crusade.

    

     
30. Mandy, 17, March 2006, 9:39 |  
    

    Hey! There’s an imposter Mandy!

     
31. lostone, 17, March 2006, 9:59 |  
    What they have a dress code at Wal-Mart now. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

    

     
32. Lace Valentine, 17, March 2006, 10:26 |  
    Hey Mandy, Your Buttocks Icon is Not Safe For Work.

    Where most of my Davezilla needs are met.

    Besides, the photo of you in glasses is quite the pretty.

    Not a

     
33. tabbie, 17, March 2006, 11:24 |  
    

    I must be extra special, we have not just a Walmart, we have a “Super WalMart” and at this Super Walmart we have Super freaks. The slippers/pjs is a biggie around here. ( i live in TX) I hate to admit it, but I have done it myself… In truth though, when you have just given birth a few days before and NONE of your other clothes fit and you have had the misfortune of catching the flu AND your husband won’t even go into the damn store to get you some Nyquil and soup….. well…. my slippers and Eyore pj pants were the best I could summon.
    Dressing up however pushes the limit….
    Before you have the chance, yes my IQ is above the double digits and my number of teeth are above single digits.

     
34. Bobby, 17, March 2006, 11:25 |  
    I can’t even begin to describe the joy that swelled up in me when I saw that none of my basses were on that page, and the other stuff that swelled up when I saw that the asses are back on this page :wang:

     
35. Peaches, 17, March 2006, 11:28 |  
    Uncle Daddy tuk me ‘n Debra to that thar Dollar Palace up in Flowery Branch, Georgia whur we’uns was raised up. Golllllleeeeee……….I ain’t never seen sech purty ear rangs in all my born days. An’ all uv um wuz jest a dollar! We got us sum pank lipstick ‘n blue eye shader ‘n fish net stockins. (But I thank they wuz secons ‘cuz one laig wuz longer’n thu other’n.) Debra got her sum toilet water that smelt lack gardenias and I got me 2 cans uv Aqua Net, cuz I need ta rat my har up high ‘n git all gussied up ta go ta Wal-Mart. Now talkin ‘bout a fancy store…….they really put on thu dawg!! I mean, they got one uv them con-c-urge type fellas that meet’che at thu door. Thu only thang they ain’t got is that high class valit parkin. When we went inside, it wuz a potpurry uv differnt thangs. Kin you baleive they got a McDonalds in thar? I’d already spent $6.OO at thu dollar store so I had ta be kurful with mah money. I could’n afford them Kathi Lee clothes…..too rich fer my blood. I got sum Faded Glory jeans and I look good’ern Mandys ayss!! I got a shirt ‘n sum shoes ‘n all it cost was $24.99……and Uncle Daddy paid fur it’tal. Sence I look so hot….I’m gonna go party at Double D’s tanight.

     
36. tabbie, 17, March 2006, 11:32 |  
    

    Peaches~~~~
    you got me back from yesterday!!!! I just peed my pants!!!! Oh My God!!!!!

     
37. tabbie, 17, March 2006, 11:46 |  
    

    Dave!!!!! :kiss: You are THE MAN!!!! I may just have to get rid of the family dogs and replace them with guinea pigs all because of you!

     
38. April, 17, March 2006, 11:49 |  
    [Comment ID #32102 will be quoted here]

    Uh. I went to see the photo, then I clicked to read the front page and saw the Kitty Kitty Gang-Bang post. I’m now traumatized and am glad my black cat never goes out!

     
39. JFLY, 17, March 2006, 11:54 |  
    [Comment ID #32526 will be quoted here]

    Cool…St. Patrick’s Day Massacre at Wal-Mart!
    “Clean-up in aisle 7!”
    Tabbie shall be spared.
    And LMAO Bob…mens’ maternity clothes?

     
40. tabbie, 17, March 2006, 12:11 |  
    

    Thank you JFLY for sparing me. I went to the Kitty Gang Bang pic and it too scared me!

     
41. Beaner, 17, March 2006, 12:51 |  
    Peaches, youn b purty dagum funny! Happy St. Patricks Day everyone! I wonder if there is any way to turn a Jack & Coke green? Guess i’ll just have a Guiness!

     
42. Peaches, 17, March 2006, 14:17 |  
    Y, thankee Beaner!! But if ye heard me talk, ye’d thank this wuz thu way I sound.
    I shore am glad I moved outta Flowery Branch (my real hometown) and live in the Sunshine state, cuz I’m high class now……..I shop at K-Mart!!……..I’m happier’n an ole mud turtle!!
    Happy St. Patricks Day to all ya’ll!!

     
43. Esther, 17, March 2006, 14:29 |  
    

    [Comment ID #32146 will be quoted here]

    I’ll be glad to join you on that endeavor.

     
44. Bobby, 17, March 2006, 14:32 |  
    Y’all needs ta stop makin fun a mah maw. Jist cuz she wuz qwoted in the paper agin…we’s real prowd of her…hell, the last time she wuz qwoted wuz on account a her winnin that there roadkill resippee contest. Ok, so she dressez up fer goin ta the Walmart…she don’t git out much…jes’ win paw gits bustid fer runnin a load a ’shine crost stat lynes, an then when he come back he sez he feel like Mandy’z ass…qwit pokin fun, y’all

     
45. MrDoug, 17, March 2006, 14:32 |  
    Well gosh dang! Wall-mart is so much more than a store it is a destination! Why I meet some of the nicest folks in a RV in the parking lot just the other day when we went into town, they said they have been staying a new Wall-mart every week as they drive across the country. I just wonder if daddy can steal some tires for the trailer so we can too can move into the Wall -mart parking lot. Guess then we would have to steal a truck as daddies 1978 Dodge K car might not be able to pull it.

    I love the irony of the percentage of people who want to have Wall-mart shut down is almost as large a the percentage who believe that it is center of the universe.

     
46. scamper, 17, March 2006, 16:20 |  
    I thought Wal-Marts dress code was shoes and shrt like the sign says but I guess I’ll haveta go to the doller store and get me some pants. anyone got a doller?

     
47. Steppenwolf, 17, March 2006, 16:27 |  
    There were many funny posts today…special kudos to Lung & Peaches. I intentionally don’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day because I liked to be pinched.

     
48. rust, 17, March 2006, 18:28 |  
    You know, I used to get real gussied up to head over to the Country Style Donuts, but after a while, me’n the guys figgered it was better pickins at Horny Tim’s. Of course, it was at John Anderson’s that we really hit paydirt, especially the one right by the Hoadie (Oakville slang for “The Halton Hotel”) — but that was before they all got themse’ves gentrified nice-like. So now we hang out at the Hopedale Mall.

    (of course, this would be true if I still lived in Oakville-Jokeville-Tokeville, but since I don’t, it isn’t and I lied. A lot)

    

     
49. Bjorn Freeh, 17, March 2006, 18:46 |  
    Hey, Rust… are “country style donuts” salt cured?

     
50. Peaches, 17, March 2006, 19:27 |  
    [Comment ID #32896 will be quoted here]

    That was funny!! But I’d say no…..they are sugar cured.

     
51. Driver, 17, March 2006, 20:15 |  
    Peaches you crack me up but you mis peld gardenias it’s gardeenyus, sorry to have to corekt yur spelun. Any way I live 30 feet from hell {Apache junct. AZ.} so gittin dresd up fer wal mart meens cutoffs, sleavles shirt and flipflops, Esther am I wrong?

     
52. Driver, 17, March 2006, 20:15 |  
    Peaches you crack me up but you mis peld gardenias it’s gardeenyus, sorry to have to corekt yur spelun. Any way I live 30 feet from hell {Apache junct. AZ.} so gittin dresd up fer wal mart meens cutoffs, sleavles shirt and flipflops, Esther am I wrong?

     
53. Driver, 17, March 2006, 20:17 |  
    Opps damn double clikin fangur.

     
54. scamper, 17, March 2006, 20:33 |  
    Hey I just checked out the kitty bang bang. I think I wittnesed it or one like it at my apartment complex a few weeks ago. Damn cats all they wanna do is f#!k.

     
55. Peaches, 17, March 2006, 21:04 |  
    [Comment ID #32939 will be quoted here]

    Gee whiz , Driver, I am so sorry, but thankee fur corektin me. I didn’t git past 3rd grade……..twice………so i jest qwit.
    Sounds like ta me ye dress thu way my husband does year round……..’cept he puts on long pants fer weddins ‘n funrals. Anyways, I’m much obliged fer thu spelin leson.
    An be kurful with that har trigger fanger a yorn, specialy if ye got a gun.

     
56. Driver, 17, March 2006, 21:34 |  
    What am I missing , where is this kitty bang bang ?

    Sorey, I is nu tu teknuluji.

     
57. Master Solace, 17, March 2006, 22:16 |  
    I’ve just got one thing to say…I’m about 30% Irish, so that counts right…………SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOO………..I’m fucking Irish, so who’s first to kiss me.

     
58. Peaches, 17, March 2006, 22:31 |  
    

    [Comment ID #32986 will be quoted here]

    Pucker up……………..mmwah!!

     
59. Anita Mann-Badley, 17, March 2006, 23:35 |  
    [Comment ID #32971 will be quoted here]

    I couldn’t find it either. Then, after a full day at work looking for it, I used the search function:

    http://www.tian.cc/2006/03/kitty-kitty-gang-bang.html

     
60. Beaner, 18, March 2006, 0:27 |  
    wow, i think i may be hooked to this site, being that it’s St. Patty’s eve, have had 1001 drinks, and i feel the need to see what’s goin on! WooooHooooooo, feelin food…oops I mean good!!

     
61. Beaner, 18, March 2006, 0:28 |  
    1002,3, ok 1004!

     
62. Driver, 18, March 2006, 1:09 |  
    Anita Mann-Badley,

    Thank you for the help. That was funny s–t , But did anybody check out the dogs and doll video……WHOA , can you say TWISTED!!!

     
63. Marcus, 18, March 2006, 1:36 |  
    

    [Comment ID #32146 will be quoted here]

    I can get you a few AK-47s if you wish. I am sure Walmart and Dollar Store do not have metal detectors. It would certainly be much faster.

    Now, I must confess I am a Pennsylvania hill billy and I grew up in a double wide. However, I spent years getting rid of that horrible accent. We never had a Walmart or Walgreens, but we had a K-Mart. Hope yous’ guys had a Happy Saint Patrick’s Day.
    

     
64. Master Solace, 18, March 2006, 2:43 |  
    [Comment ID #32994 will be quoted here]

    Thank you, milady. I will cherish it, always.

    Now back to the lager……… :idea:……….well maybe not!

     
65. Timmmy, 21, March 2006, 2:46 |  
    Driver said: Opps damn double clikin fangur.

    Thats OK Driver, we know it’s hard for you to type with that extra finger of yours.

     
66. Timmmy, 30, March 2006, 3:09 |  
    I wish I could delete my bad joke.