Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

1. “I’ll have a small Coke, no onions.”
2. “What wine goes with that?”
3. “I don’t know what I want. You pick.”
4. “I’m not wearing underwear.”
5. Do you have kids’ meals?” [wait for response] “No, I meant for goats.”
6. “Do you come here often?”
7. “Will you walk my dog for me?”
8. “Can you hear me now?”
9. “May I talk to you about the Lord Jesus Christ?”
10. “Do your burgers come in a size 6?”
11. “I’d like the sesame seeds on the buns arranged according to size in micrometers. I’ll wait.”
12. “Who is that? I told you not to come over anymore! I’m calling the police!”
13. “B-6? Damn, you sank my battleship!”
14. “Did I come at a bad time? I’m just so … lonely and you seem like such a good listener.”
15. “I’m pregnant again and you’re the father!”
16. How do you amuse yourself at the drive-through?

Please note that I am actually a huge Nielsen fan. He knows his stuff.