Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

1. All three had cheesy television shows in the 1970s
2. All three were male actors
3. All three favored ugly hats
4. All three starred in TV roles as law enforcement officers
5. All three died within 24 hours of each other
6. Their birth months are sequential (McGavin = May, Weaver = June, Knotts = July)
7. Darren McGavin has an ‘a’ in his first and last name
8. Don Knotts has an ‘o’ in his first and last name
9. Dennis Weaver has an ‘e’ in his first and last name
10. All three have 2 ‘n’s in between their first and last names
11. The number of children they each had is sequential (Knotts =2, Weaver=3, McGavin = 4)
12. Dennis Weaver rode a horse on McCloud and Gunsmoke
13. Darren McGavin rode a horse in the Sioux Massacre
14. Don Knotts turned into a fish in The Incredible Mr. Limpet
15. Dennis Weaver chased fish in Sharks!
16. All three appeared in movies about ghosts (McGavin = The Night Stalker & Affair with a Ghost, Knotts =The Ghost & Mr. Chicken, Weaver = The Mystery of the Hollywood Phantom)

Seriously. This is my first entire day off since being promoted in January. What should I do with my day? I am taking suggestions. Be creative.

Image via Andrew

To call a local news anchor a skilled reporter is like calling a Pekinese one of the World’s deadliest predators. Here are some of the statements that made me want to take an acetylene torch to my television.

We have everything you need for the Olympics
Aside from providing a channel, what are you giving me? Free tickets to Italy? A training coach? A weeks’ worth of beer and pretzels?

There could be another terrorist attack on US soil
As if the terrorists hate our dirt.

This medal ends a 30-year curse on the American team
Curse? What curse? Have witches been in the locker rooms at night, furiously rubbing skates with henbane and baby fat? I prefer the term, “poor athleticism”, but I’m picky that way.