Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

55 comments:

1. Mistress Lily, 30, January 2006, 0:20 |  
   

   I would kill the person who snapped this….. :P I think she should lay off the ice cream for a while too….. I think the dog is a bit ashamed…..ROTF

   The art of nitting….someone has waaaaaaaay too much time on their hands.

    
2. Spud, 30, January 2006, 0:35 |  
   

   Wha ………..aaaaaaat !!!!!
   Shut the fuck up !!!!!! It’s only a half gallon tub !!!!!!

   

    
3. Minnie, 30, January 2006, 0:49 |  
   

   Happy Birthday!

    
4. Kami, 30, January 2006, 0:56 |  
   Happy Birthday Dave.

   If it weren’t for that container of ice cream, one might mistake that white stuff around her mouth for something else. . . What a pig.

    
5. Susan, 30, January 2006, 1:01 |  
   I’ll show YOU some PopoZao, K-Fed!

    
6. Spud, 30, January 2006, 1:12 |  
   

   Two more things…

   1. Hippy happy birthday Dave

   2. About that knitting… an awful lot of impaling going on…

      

    
7. |nsan|ty, 30, January 2006, 1:22 |  
   damn…… what the,,,,,!?!…… some people should not be allowed to …….. ah hell, I aint gonna say what that reallllllly looks like.

    
8. |nsan|ty, 30, January 2006, 1:23 |  
   Ok… I will… she looks like shes going to attack the person coming after her ice cream…..and serious as hell about it…. some ones gonna lose and arm, or an eye!

    
9. Kismet, 30, January 2006, 1:54 |  
   

   She’s even eating it with an ice cream scoop. Damn.

   At least you know she’d never get snowed in during a blizzard.

    
10. Master Solace, 30, January 2006, 1:59 |  
    

    Three things

    1: Since I’m a newer patron to this site, I did not know…so Dave, Happy Birthday from me as well.

    2: She’s got that look on her face like she could inflict pain on someone with that ice cream scoop(orally, anally, or otherwise).

    3: And shouldn’t she be wearing a bigger napkin is she’s gonna eat the whole thing?!?

     
11. larfus, 30, January 2006, 3:31 |  
    

    “3: And shouldn’t she be wearing a bigger napkin is she’s gonna eat the whole thing?!?”

    I think thats a table cloth

     
12. marcus, 30, January 2006, 3:32 |  
    

    Cheers to Dave and Happy Birthday

    Caption Time. “Melinda the stripper performed at Dave’s Birthday Party. The routine was called “Eating Ice Cream with a Scoop” during the number she slapped Dave with her belly fat.”

     
13. Lung the Younger, 30, January 2006, 3:37 |  
    The Olsen twins before mitosis occurred.

    (although looking closely, that face does not match the body and the upper arms and shoulders don’t match the forearms. The lady is padded methinks)

    Link: Knitting is obviously the new basket weaving.

     
14. Wendyfb, 30, January 2006, 3:49 |  
    Maybe her family took this picture in hopes to “scare her straight” into losing weight… a picture is worth a thousand words… or is that a thousand calories?

     
15. Wendyfb, 30, January 2006, 3:51 |  
    And by the way, that knitting… wow.. theres some serious talent there! Its not easy knitting like that.. it just scares me as to the title of the picture…”beautiful??????”

     
16. mitch, 30, January 2006, 6:14 |  
    

    Happy Birthday, Dave….why the picture of an food-mad Rosie O’Donnell? I thought she was dead.

     
17. Dennis Bookhart, 30, January 2006, 6:22 |  
    “Don/t even try an take it away unless you want to lose a few bodily appendages!

     
18. Ben, 30, January 2006, 6:26 |  
    What? Its low in rush! ok that was stupid. (rush=fat) did ANYBODY laugh? ok good. me neither.

     
19. Spud, 30, January 2006, 6:38 |  
    

    Rather large caption…

    “Maitre D: And finally, madame, a wafer-thin mint.

    Mrs Creosote: No.

    Maitre D: Oh sir! It’s only a tiny little thin one.

    Mrs Creosote: No. Fuck off - I’m full… [Belches]

    Maitre D: Oh madame… it’s only wafer thin.

    Mrs Creosote: Look - I couldn’t eat another thing. I’m absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.

    Maitre D: Oh madamer, just… just one…

    Mrs Creosote: Oh all right. Just one.

    Maitre D: Just the one, madame… voila… bon appetit…”

    

     
20. Craig, 30, January 2006, 6:46 |  
    

    Nice christmas sweater. Take that fuckin’ dog for a walk.

     
21. cbatdux, 30, January 2006, 7:25 |  
    

    Dog, to woman: Get the HELL off my back, you lard ass!

    Actually, she is on a diet. I recognize the container. It’s not ice cream, It’s Jimmy Dean’s diet ice-lard made from sausage drippins.

    Happy Birthday Mon Capitan! Do we send presents or just sing loudly and off-key?

     
22. Nikki, 30, January 2006, 7:41 |  
    

    Happy Birthday, Dave.

     
23. Wendy, 30, January 2006, 7:46 |  
    I didnt know beached whales could survive out of water with ugly sweaters and a tub of ice cream.

    As for the knitting…gotta love the S&M setup in pink! (God forbid the beached whale try any of that on!)

    And I didn’t know either till now, but Happy Birthday, Dave!!

     
24. Aunt Stacy, 30, January 2006, 8:04 |  
    Happy Birthday!

    Is she riding that dog? (poor thing)

    the website…. spellcheck is all I have to say

     
25. Fran, 30, January 2006, 8:52 |  
    

    This is a posed photo because any serious ice cream eater knows that an ice cream scoop is not the best tool to use. A large serving spoon or reinforced tablespoon is best.

     
26. Tami Jo, 30, January 2006, 8:55 |  
    It’s only because I love you, brother o’ mine.

     
27. Anita Mann-Badley, 30, January 2006, 9:01 |  
    

    Wow, 14 sweaters and I still get brain-freeze. Maybe I should try something else. I know… mittens!

     
28. Bjorn Freeh, 30, January 2006, 9:04 |  
    

    Unless that’s butter pecan ice cream, her boyfriend should get down to the clinic pretty soon.

     
29. Craig, 30, January 2006, 9:36 |  
    

    “We’ll get to your walk in a bit, momma hears another tub of double chocolate chip callin’ her name.”

     
30. Patrick, 30, January 2006, 9:42 |  
    The dog is alerting her to the fact that the pizza man is coming up the drive but he’s a little bit slow and she just couldn’t wait. Dessert before dinner, yum, good munching!

     
31. Coley, 30, January 2006, 10:20 |  
    

    First of all, not to steal a page from Master’s book, but I too am rather new. Therefore, I was unaware it was the big cheese’s birthday. That being said, Happy Birthday Dave!

    Secondly, does anyone else think this photo is staged? She has a very small head for that big overstuffed body. Also, who eats ice cream out of the container with the scoop, but takes the time and concern to put on a bib? Not likely.

     
32. Da Popster, 30, January 2006, 10:46 |  
    

    That dog better not be hoping for any “fall out”, looks like it’s gonna be disapointed.

     
33. Other April, 30, January 2006, 10:50 |  
    Is anyone else thinking “Avaaaaalanche”?

     
34. bran, 30, January 2006, 11:34 |  
    happy birthday, Dave. :)

     
35. Esther, 30, January 2006, 12:45 |  
    

    Happy Birthday, you magnificent bastard!

     
36. Lace Valentine, 30, January 2006, 13:59 |  
    Happy Birthday Dave. Too bad she ate the ice cream. Cake may still be available, unless the dog got to it.

     
37. rust, 30, January 2006, 14:23 |  
    

    aw c’mon, give her a break. Obviously she was giving sweetums his daily dose of “Rocky Road” when some one with a camera surprised her. I can’t think of anything more innocent.

    Oh, and that cream on her lips came from her dog. He just gave her an ice-cream covered kiss…

     
38. MrDoug, 30, January 2006, 14:43 |  
    

    Brenda Sue the double above the knee amputee demonstrates her new exercise program, “Scooping to the oldies”. As for the dog he goes by the name, “Kill me now for the love of god”

    I hope tomorrows list is what master Dave got for his birthday. Happy Birthday old man!

     
39. Master Solace, 30, January 2006, 14:46 |  
    

    On January 30, 2006, larfus furiously scribbled: “3: And shouldn’t she be wearing a bigger napkin is she’s gonna eat the whole thing?!?” I think thats a table cloth

    817 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Then I think she may need a bigger table…er…table cloth.

    And I didn’t notice the dog at first, porr thing, SHE SAT ON HIM!!! I think we need to report her to the ASFDA—the Association for Sickenly Flattened Domestic Animals, because simply WHERE IS THE BACK END OF THE DOG!!! Forget the ASFDA, I will send my EVIL WERE-RABBITS OF DOOOOOM!!!!! her way.

    Sorry about the were-rabbits, I felt I had neglected them.

     
40. Colin, 30, January 2006, 15:42 |  
    “Becky knew that if she trained hard enough and really worked at it, she’d be able to win gold at next year’s special olympics…”

    ducks

     
41. franklito, 30, January 2006, 16:36 |  
    “i KNOW you aint askin for none” “oh! was this yours” “what I cant have no after, after dinner snack?!” “Dont make me smack you with this.. you know i hate to waste good food.” “I.. I.. Think … I cant eat no more….. Nah weres the other one.” “who says i cant have the whole thing? you aint buy it!” “will you still love me if i was fat?” “oh babes when im done with this, your next” “just cause i eat like this, is not why im fat, im just big boned stupid” “shut up you know you want some… here” “nothin gets me hotter than a gallon of ice cream, oh yes baby”

     
42. franklito, 30, January 2006, 16:42 |  
    happy b-day dave, hope they got the pretty strippers this time and not the midget clan, or the hippo humpers. any ways ill smoke one for ya :P

     
43. dougieace, 30, January 2006, 19:28 |  
    after a half gallon of ice cream, buddy the lab knows it will be time for his treat peanut butter .

     
44. Jane, 30, January 2006, 22:09 |  
    CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gimmie!!!!!!!!!!! :o

     
45. JFLY, 30, January 2006, 23:15 |  
    

    Happy Birthday, Dave!!! (…be sure to give him spankings, Nikki)

    And I’m LMAO at Lung the Younger, cbatdux, and Master Solace…

    My caption: “Whaaaaat? I’m on the Atkin’s Diet…”

     
46. Ace, 31, January 2006, 4:18 |  
    

    “I am on a diet! This here is my reward.” How lady-like, she is using her “napkin” as a bib. Looks like finnishing school really paid off. Happy Birthday Dave!

     
47. cody, 31, January 2006, 8:49 |  
    dunno if that’s the woman you want to share your birthday with if she hogs all the ice cream. (that’s alright though because i think that cake taste better anyway.) have a good one, mr.dave

     
48. Peg, 31, January 2006, 11:00 |  
    “I don’t know how I got into the wicked witches house, but she’s holding me hostage. Hansel, Grettle, help!!! I’ll be going into the oven real soon.”

     
49. Jay Jay, 31, January 2006, 11:02 |  
    yo, that is one fat bitch.

     
50. family jules, 31, January 2006, 17:01 |  
    

    Let me guess, her boyfriend ticked her off when she was having a mad PMS attack, and then the a$$hole had the nerve to take this pic and post it on the internet. His funeral will be on Tuesday.

     
51. Paige, 31, January 2006, 20:49 |  
    fat girls gone wild. Love the fact that shes eating it with the scoop!!!

     
52. Master Solace, 1, February 2006, 1:24 |  
    

    Me thinks me got two more captions:

    “MMMmmmm……creamy!!!”

    “Rover, wheel me over there so I can shove this scoop down his throat!!!”

    Used together or seperately, they get the point across. Or, so to speak, smear the cream across the face!!!

     
53. tinamarie, 1, February 2006, 21:09 |  
    Look at the hands people–that has GOT to be a man’s body with a woman’s head photoshopped on. It just isn’t possible for her face to be that thin with a body that large (and no neck, and huge hands, and…)

    It’s just wrong. All wrong.

     
54. SamDi, 2, February 2006, 2:07 |  
    Does this woman frighten anyone but me?

     
55. juliebeanpie, 5, February 2006, 20:44 |  
    what do you mean, its nonfat?