Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

The next time you feel chilly, check to see if you are wearing a shirt. If yes, proceed to 1. If not, proceed to 2. If neither, proceed to 3.

1. If you are wearing a shirt and still chilly, the balcony door is open or the cat is plotting world domination.
2. If you are not wearing a shirt, it is laying on the ironing board. Still.
3. I don’t know. Why am I still chilly?

It’s better to be good than _______.

1. “You don’t look so tough to me.”
2. “It’s not much, but I call it home.”
3. “You can’t prove a thing!”
4. “Are you kidding? She’s slept with the entire team!”
5. “I never kiss on the first date.”
6. “Is this how you treat a lady?” Which is always followed up with, “When I see one, I’ll let you know.”
7. “What’s that smell?” “Not me!”
8. “I-I’ve never done this before.”
9. “My family moved around a lot. I never made too many friends in school.”
10. “This doorway leads … to Hell!”