Caption Time #85
[because I haven't disturbed you enough lately]
Archive for December, 2005
Notes to Self, No. 5,822, Nachos Edition
- “Restaurant Style” tortilla chips means, “Our retarded bagger sat on them, crushing each chip to an ant-sized bite.”
- Four jalapenos are more than sufficient for one plate of nachos. Eleven may be over the top. Trust me on this.
- Cats will not eat nachos, not matter how hungry they are.
- True fact: Queso is actually made from molten Play-Doh.
- The number of ounces of cheese you add to nachos is directly proportional to the number of hours you will spend regretting the decision to make nachos.
1st Level Web Master Spells
Protection against Comic Sans: Protects beginning Web Designers from succumbing to the fetid odor of this most noxious font.
Dispel MIDI: Makes the spell caster immune to the dissonant shrieks of embedded MIDI soundtracks on personal homepages.
Detect Rainbow: Spell destroys rainbow divider bars. Temporarily dispels rainbow-colored text.
Mage Page: Magic spell to dispel popup ads and prevent javascript page takeovers.
Obscure Animation: Prevents animated GIFs of gay Spiderman from dancing more than one round.
Cursor Curse: Prevents the mouse from being followed by animated trails of stars, unicorns and flowers.
Vampiric Styles: Touch removes ghastly stylesheets that only work on Internet Explorer.
Protection from Phishing: Protects caster from bank fraud emails.
With help from the lovely Natalie
