Overheard: Goblet of Fire Edition
During a screening of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Natalie and I ended up sitting next to J-Lo’s hairstylist (or so he claimed). He also claimed (loudly) that he did hair for Natasha Stilwell, host of Discovery Canada’s Daily Planet show. His comments gave me weeks of material, but I’ve decided to condense my 10 favorites into one post.
- “OMG… Look. It’s J-Lo. I absolutely LOVE her. See the hair? That’s a tri-layer. Three colors. Takes four hours. Wait, shhh, look at this thing she does with her leg. Faaaabulous!”
- “No, this is the fourth movie. They’re all in a row. In this one, Harry is like 16 or 17 by now. There’s like 12 other books after this one.”
- “What’s that say? Snickers … really … satisfies. Hm! That’s really good to know.”
- “Oohhhhh, fruit roll-ups. The cherry ones are really good.”
- “Natasha? Oh, she has the thinnest hair. It’s terrible. And Jay? Poor dear has clown hair.”
- “Oh, King Kong. What have they done to you? Kong isn’t mean. He’s actually very nice. They got it wrong, wrong, wrong.”
- “Is that? DeNiro! I should do his hair. Call me!”
- “You know Allen and I have been friends 20 years. Still don’t know his last name.”
- “Oh Barbra (Streisand)! Look how sad Barry (Gibb) is. Must be from recording with you.”
- “Harry’s owl is magic. It’s not that owl. His was made from chocolate. From white chocolate.”
I really don’t know what to say after reading that, except to offer the view that if I had/s been seated next to somebody like that, a swift elbow in the throat may have occured.
woops! hey sorry mate! yaright?
I’m with Spud on this one.
Yep, an elbow to the nose, definitely.
Now if it had been J-Lo’s nipple fluffer…
Man if I had to sit beside someone like that through a movie I would rather die…. gosh.
Solutions? Elbow… go to jail. Nah, I have better idea. Eat two large cans of baked beans, a can of pinto beans, and some brussel sprouts about forty minutes before the movie starts. Then let it rip. No one will sit next to you. If someone complains just say you have IBS.:hurl:
I don’t know how to contribute a link but this one is really funny. http://www.utuvien.com/cats/cosarchive/
If is not okay, apologies in advance.
Of course the
You mean beat them with a telephone. Maybe you should resort to Kill Bill when Lucy Liu cuts off the head of the Yakuza boss. Then stand up and say the line from the movie
You should have spilled your soda, and rapid fired Juju-B’s at the hairdresser. Is the chip and dip a gift you and Natlie are registering for (hint, hint, nudge, nudge)?
Lovingly
Chip & Dip platter, or panty vibrator?
Is the chip and dip a gift you and Natlie are registering for
Does that look like something we would register for?
Oh, so you DO want the platter…
i agree with dave, why would you want chips and dip when you can get a pantie vibrator like nikki said:wang::wang::wang::wang:
There you go Dave, Next time you go to the movie’s and have to sit next to someone like that be sure to have a vibrator on hand!
I imagine just pulling it out in front of someone like him would scare him off! If not…well we won’t go there!
Well, he’s obviously from QUEEN WEST, the Beaches would never tolerate him.
Oh, and Barbra and Barry were tired of listening to him. That’s what the problem was.
Give my best to Moses and Libby.
I don’t think he would mind the vibrator. I think he already has one and showing him one would just start a whole new conversation. Just cut his head off and be down with it.
Perhaps the gentleman thought he was going to a screening of *wait for it*
HAIRY POTTER
SPUD RULES!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think he does wedding dos?
Not only do I wonder what Dave does in his spare time but Kudos for thinking up 10 items to relay to us the. I just wondered why you did not comment on the Julia Roberts “hair” do or actually Don”t….How can we forget those hairy pits?
Every one gets a Free case of snickers.
What is this “spare time” you speak of?
Perhaps he thought the movie was Hairy Potte some magical porn story of gay young wizards with bad hair
The Canadians had a different showing. Hogwarts was populated with hockey players. Hermione was played by J-Lo who did a song and dance number.
(Actually she was in an advertisement that ran (10X!) before the previews began.)
If I had to sit through a J-Ho advert more than 0 times, I think a spork lobotomy of the entire theater staff would be in order.
yep I think you would be in BIG trouble if he saw the vib. it would be like 2 dudes and a muscle car.. ” mine has a 440, 4 speed and posi and its double headed”:wtf::roll: