Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

Problem:

When I travel, or need to wear a nice suit for a client meeting, I somehow end up wearing my toothpaste as a fashion accessory. I can brush in the nude, then shower and still get toothpaste down my sternum.

Solutions:

1. Full body armour
2. Cease brushing
3. Hire a hot dental hygienist to brush for me. I’m not certain her being hot will aid in avoiding an oral mess, and … I believe I’ve said too much already
4. Brush underwater
5. Wear suits made from toothpaste.

Sent in by the lovely Minnie

I had to capture the speaker’s visage for you, dear readers, so you may avoid this person, should your paths ever cross. Not the best photo, but it’s at least recognizable.

Man in photo: “I’m just saying… I’d eat a newborn if it came between me starving and that.”

If Tom has three times as many testicles as Susan, and Susan has one-fourth as many ovaries as Joe, how many BBQ ribs does Mary have, if she has two more Ouija Boards than Tom?