Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

I’ve never seen a purple ________.
and hope I never see one.
But with the ________ we’ve got today
there certainly must be one!

Photo by Tian

Fresh out of ideas for Halloween costumes? Allow me to help:

1. Ennui
2. A Braille Newspaper
3. The Grassy Knoll
4. A Widget
5. Aisle 14 of Wal-Mart
6. Voicemail
7. The Ghost in the Machine
8. The Bell Curve
9. Nepotism
10. Schrodinger’s Cat Litter Box

1. Get called to fly out fo state for work on a moment’s notice
2. Stay up till 2am working on a new business pitch with your coworkers
3. Deliver the pitch at the crack of dawn
4. Fly home next to someone who is clearly wearing perfume as a body glaze
5. Ensure that you get a seat on the sold out flight facing the setting sun
6. Go from the airport straight to the optician to pick up new glasses, which incidentally, are your first time wearing bifocals
7. Attempt to see