Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

1. Why coffee isn’t an essential food group.
2. Why all sitcom fathers are bumbling idiots.
3. Why on commercials, when a family sits down for dinner, everyone nods in unison.
4. Why talentless mouthbreathers like Paulie Shore, Carrot Top, Jessica Simpson and Starr Jones continue to get contracts to be in front of a camera.
5. Why most of the Midwest still dresses like it’s 1987.
6. Why none of Donald Trump’s assistants have the balls to tell him how bad his toupée looks.
7. Why most women begin collecting Hummel figurines as soon as they turn 50.
8. Why I am still getting three copies of GQ and Maxim every month.
9. Why the most irritating commercials often air twice in a row.
10. Why Tony Danza still has a show.

Photo submitted by mikeB

Anyone who has ever been in a a car with a woman for more than five miles knows one immutable fact: they have to pee already. They went while getting ready to leave. Right as you held the door open for them, they ran back in to pee once more. Now that you have been driving for ten minutes, they need to pull over and pee again. No doubt, the first thing they will do on arrival is pee again.

This leads me to one inescapable conclusion. Cows, deer and other ruminants have four-chambered stomachs. Women, have four-chambered bladders.