Top ten worst things about summer

Posted by Davezilla 13 June, 2005 Latest: Pink, TinaMarie, Natalie, DK, Russell,
  1. Finding Earwigs in your shoes
  2. Discovering how many of your neighbors and coworkers eschew deoderant.
  3. Realizing your neighbors have turned into Earwigs.
  4. Smelling year-old grease burning on your neighbour’s barbecue.
  5. Realizing it’s not grease; they’re grilling Earwigs.
  6. Seeing a sexy woman adjusting her Daisy Dukes from behind and realizing she’s actually a man.
  7. Trying your mother’s potato salad at a picnic, tasting a bad piece of potato and discovering it’s an Earwig.
  8. Seeing your next-door neighbor stripping out of her flimsy tank top and sitting naked on the balcony. She’s built like John Goodman.
  9. Watching your air conditioner die on the hottest day of the year.
  10. Did I mention the Earwigs?
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18 comments:

  1. Dante, 13, June 2005, 1:03 |  

    John Goodman? Why not John Travolta?? :razz:

     
  2. name, 13, June 2005, 7:17 |  

    finding earwigs in your blog!!!

     
  3. Nikki, 13, June 2005, 7:27 |  

    I think your next-door neighbor waitresses at the restaurant we had dinner at last night. Is her body so oddly shaped that it looks like she wears a pillow under her shirt?

     
  4. Davezilla, 13, June 2005, 7:35 |  

    Think Jabba the Slut, Nik.

     
  5. Nicholle, 13, June 2005, 8:09 |  

    Have a bit of an earwig fetish do we?

     
  6. Spud, 13, June 2005, 9:36 |  

    arrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhh

    R

    :grin:

     
  7. rust, 13, June 2005, 11:34 |  

    … and that sexy neighbour on the balcony that looks like John Goodman… did she by any chance, ask you to pull her finger?

     
  8. Matt, 13, June 2005, 12:30 |  

    add “silverfish”, “ants” and “spiders” to the list, and you’re good

     
  9. Pink, 13, June 2005, 14:49 |  

    and centipedes.

     
  10. TinaMarie, 13, June 2005, 14:58 |  

    In my neck of the woods, it’s Black Widow spiders and crickets galore.

     
  11. rust, 13, June 2005, 16:48 |  

    Cripes, how come no-one takes the bait!

    We’re talking Moosepant-invading, bunnies- and boobs-devouring, weblog bearing, meme destroying EARWIGS!

    Everyone, but EVERYONE, write your Member of Parliament, write your Congressman, write your Priest, write the King of the MOON! We are have a major crisis on our hands here.

    I say tactical nukes.

     
  12. Natalie, 13, June 2005, 19:19 |  

    Nothing will kill an earwig.

    I tried. I smushed it and I heard it crunch.

    When I looked at it, it tried to run away.

    :wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:

     
  13. DK, 13, June 2005, 20:24 |  

    This is hilarious. BTW, what’s an earwig?

     
  14. Nikki, 13, June 2005, 20:35 |  

    Earwigs.

     
  15. Spud, 13, June 2005, 22:11 |  

    I like the tactical nu-clear strike technique.

    1 shot

    wooooommphhhh!

    problem solved

    :dead:

     
  16. TinaMarie, 13, June 2005, 22:15 |  

    I think a nuclear strike is a bit of overkill, rust. My husband once killed a silverfish with a bowl of steaming hot oatmeal. I am not sure what did the trick: the boiling hot oatmeal, or the shards of ceramic bowl, but either way, that motherfucker was dead, Dead, DEAD! Bwahahahahaha! :cool:

    Oh, excuse me. Sudden lapse into evilness. Just ignore me. Please. :-?

     
  17. DK, 14, June 2005, 18:48 |  

    Thanks, Nikki. After viewing that site, I’m almost sorry I asked…. :roll:

     
  18. Russell, 18, June 2005, 5:06 |  

    The only thing worse then finding a worm in your apple is finding half a worm.:-?