Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

1. First we nap. Then I crush your spirit.
2. It’s like marshmallow, but hard.
3. I got water in my eye from your ass.
4. I am making dinner. It has delicious cheesy goodness.
5. I’m trying to lure you into trusting me.

Let us assume from here on out that when silverware must be pried from a table, it’s time to wipe the table.

You know how dolphins are capable of using their sonar to herd shoals of fish into tight balls to attack and eat? I wish I could do that with dust bunnies and lint.

Except for the eating part.

“The Davezilla reader I most want to _______ is _______ .”