Anagram Interview: Ashlee Simpson

DISCLAIMER: Before you scratch your head or send me hate mail, please note that this is a fake interview. The answers were created by rearranging the letters in Ashlee Simpson [anagramming].

Davezilla: What’s the worst thing about touring in a van like this?
Ashlee Simpson: Homeless pains.

Davezilla: You’ve been touring a lot lately. What are your off days like?
Ashlee Simpson: Lameness. I shop.

Davezilla: Do you ever get recognized in public?
Ashlee Simpson: I shop nameless.

Davezilla: Briefly describe your personality.
Ashlee Simpson: Simpleness. A ho.

Davezilla: What kind of men are you attracted to?
Ashlee Simpson: Salesmen; so hip.

Davezilla: That’s a rather short, tight miniskirt. I can see your [ahem].
Ashlee Simpson: Loin passes hem.

Davezilla: How does your costumer help you get out of a skirt like that?
Ashlee Simpson: Soaps hemlines.

Davezilla: Your skirt has tiny holes on the sides…
Ashlee Simpson: Pinholes seams.

Davezilla: When you dress that way, do you get men pawing you?
Ashlee Simpson: Assholes nip me.

Davezilla: You told some rather contradictory statements after your little hoedown on SNL.
Ashlee Simpson: Lie opens shams.

Davezilla: Is there anything you don’t like about your boyfriend?
Ashlee Simpson: Penis has moles.

Davezilla: Did you get mad when your producer edited your lyrics?
Ashlee Simpson: She’s slain poem.

Davezilla: How do you work out to look good for the boys?
Ashlee Simpson: Simple. Hone ass. Hips lasso semen.

Davezilla: Do you keep in contact with other celebrities?
Ashlee Simpson: Melissa phones.

Davezilla: Melissa Etheridge? What do you think of her?
Ashlee Simpson: Has simple nose.

Davezilla: Ever call Jessica?
Ashlee Simpson: Phones lame sis.

Davezilla: So you record, sing and [cough] dance. Any other sources of income?
Ashlee Simpson: Also ship semen.

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12 comments:

  1. Natalie, 9, January 2005, 0:58 |  

    Oh Ashlee, it’s not too late to do something vaguely useful with your life. Maybe you could even learn how to dress yourself properly!

     
  2. TheFaramir, 9, January 2005, 0:59 |  

    At first I thought Tubcat would be like Tubgirl. I was afraid to click on the link.

     
  3. Minnie, 9, January 2005, 1:10 |  

    I can’t get that horryfying image out of my mind - penis has moles. *shudder* :eek:

     
  4. wantwit, 9, January 2005, 1:30 |  

    golden.

     
  5. Mandy, 9, January 2005, 2:30 |  

    Dave, you scare me with these anagrams. You either have nothing to do or are a complete genius. :kiss:

     
  6. Esther, 9, January 2005, 3:24 |  

    It’s simple, Mandy, insanity breeds genius. Didn’t you know that? :kiss:

     
  7. Spud, 9, January 2005, 3:56 |  

    “Loins pass hem”

    Truly it was spoken…

    And the masses coughed

    And the loin didth pass the hem

    All hail the hemloin!

    :grin:

     
  8. Anagram Interview with Ashlee Simpson | Blogmarks | Math Jazz (Trackback), 9, January 2005, 5:20 |  
     

    Anagram Interview with Ashlee Simpson | Blogmarks | Math Jazz
    There’s a new AI in town…

     
  9. mikeB, 9, January 2005, 18:48 |  

    Lie opens shams.
    Speaks volumes. :neutral:

     
  10. frisko, 9, January 2005, 21:21 |  

    7th Heaven needs her.

     
  11. Anonymous, 2, February 2005, 8:49 |  
    Davezilla

    :roll::wtf::-?

     
  12. Tiarra, 7, October 2005, 13:42 |  

    So rude!! Could you get real interviews????