Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

When you can hear sushi being eaten by someone 15 feet away, assume it will look as disgusting as it sounds and resist the temptation to gawk.
[More details on this later. It’s worth it.]

Many of you have been contacting me over the last two weeks because your comments haven’t been going through. The reason it happens is I am part of a top-secret government blogging experiment WordPress uses a blacklist for certain words that spammers seem enjoy.

You see, spammers know full well that readers of Davezilla enjoy playing card games without credit checks while having their penises enlarged. And why not? With all those red-hot donkeys and horny Asian hamsters to scrump, readers need a bigger unit. Women, thirsty for non-dairy products, demand it.

“But Dave,” you say. “If your software is messing with my hardware, how can I let you know about the latest Japanese Bidet for Cats?” Simple. I have lovingly drawn icons of naughty bits for you to liberally sprinkle throughout your comments. These get the point across without getting you spanked by WordPress (unless you like that sort of thing).

So next time you send a comment involving your vulva, a post about your post, clip about your clit, or a bleat about your bits, know that it may be temporarily held for moderation. Once I’ve finished touching myself, while savoring every naughty detail checking the content for legitimacy, I’ll make sure that the entire world knows what a wretched little perv you really are.

Sincerely — The Management