Incident at table 14

were-beast

[SCENE: Mariko sushi restaurant in Toronto]

Davezilla: Did you see what just walked in?
Natalie: Unfortunately.

[15 minutes later]

Natalie: I swear I can actually hear her eating!
Davezilla: I can, too. Oh Gawd. Don’t turn around.

Natalie: What? What’s it doing?
Davezilla: Trust me. You do not want to know!

Natalie: OK, well tell me when we leave.

[15 minutes later]

Natalie: You were going to tell me of the horror you witnessed.
Davezilla: Gawd. Ready for this? That sound you heard, that was the shrimp tempura being sucked in, two at a time.

Natalie: Hold me, Dave!

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35 comments:

  1. Natalie, 26, October 2004, 0:13 |  

    She ate the tails - you know, the crunchy, meatless part that you’re supposed to remove because it has the texture of a plasic fork.

    Mariko is a small, quiet place, and this woman definitely stood out.

     
  2. Bobby Peru, 26, October 2004, 0:18 |  

    Where’s the camera? It’s a yeti!

     
  3. Chad Brandos, 26, October 2004, 0:19 |  

    That’s revolting.

    Thanks for another disturbing bedtime story. Goodnight!

     
  4. Davezilla, 26, October 2004, 0:20 |  

    I forgot to add that. She did in fact eat the tails, too. [shudders]

     
  5. Esther, 26, October 2004, 0:20 |  

    I happen to know a Yeti, and she has much better eating habits than that!

    As a shrimp tempura fan, this makes me want to shudder and cry.

     
  6. Mandy, 26, October 2004, 0:23 |  

    Is this a penis or a shrimp? :limp:

     
  7. Spud, 26, October 2004, 1:05 |  

    A shrimped penis?

    :???:

     
  8. TinaMarie, 26, October 2004, 1:27 |  

    I’ve eaten a few tails in my lifetime, and it wasn’t too bad. Of course, I didn’t always swallow. :wang::wtf:

     
  9. Spud, 26, October 2004, 1:30 |  

    All womans should swallow.

     
  10. wantwit, 26, October 2004, 1:48 |  

    EVARY PART OF TEH SHRIMP IS DELISHOUS!

     
  11. Davezilla, 26, October 2004, 6:32 |  

    Truer words were never spoken, Todd.

     
  12. mikeB, 26, October 2004, 7:07 |  

    Natalie, you said “this woman definitely stood out.” That is no woman. I refuse to believe it.

     
  13. lurker, 26, October 2004, 7:26 |  

    IS THAT AIRBRUHSED OR MS PAINT?

     
  14. Davezilla, 26, October 2004, 8:04 |  

    No, it was TEH pencil and TEH Photoshop. :razz:

     
  15. rust, 26, October 2004, 8:47 |  

    That woman wouldn’t be about 50, would she? Body odour? Loud?

    F*ck, my EX-sister’s back in T.O.

     
  16. Spud, 26, October 2004, 8:53 |  

    I just looked closely at that drawing…

    Is that an original Davezilla?

    If so, it’s a f**king ripper! :grin:

     
  17. Davezilla, 26, October 2004, 9:03 |  

    Yeah, scribbled it out last night. I had a better sketch on a napkin, but left it with Natalie. :-?

     
  18. Spud, 26, October 2004, 9:19 |  

    Ohhh yeah!
    Big Mommas a eatin
    So don’t y’all stare
    Lessin ya want a beatin

    Truly a scary sight, nothing says f**k off like 2 prawns sticking out of your mouth. :wtf:

     
  19. ReV.JeLLyBaBy, 26, October 2004, 9:48 |  

    Well it’s nice to see some accurate observational artwork for a change and in a strange sense……

    I feel that L.S Lowry would be so proud.

    Okay he painted “matchstick men” and “matchstick dogs”, but I bet he would have given his right arm to paint a

    “MATCHSTICK WEREPIG, SHRIMP SLURPING CHUB MONSTER!”

    I know I would……..:???:

     
  20. ReV.JeLLyBaBy, 26, October 2004, 9:53 |  

    P.S He would have done it in an industrial setting though…….maybe called it “Woman with Shrimp”

    :roll:

     
  21. ReV.JeLLyBaBy, 26, October 2004, 10:09 |  

    Fat Bitch Al Fresco?

    :???:

     
  22. Davezilla, 26, October 2004, 10:24 |  

    The sushi chef committed seppuku after seeing her eat. :wtf:

     
  23. Moxie, 26, October 2004, 10:40 |  

    I told ya it was The Penguin.

     
  24. ReV.JeLLyBaBy, 26, October 2004, 10:42 |  

    Did he just bite his own tongue off in disgust according to the Ninja No Sekai…….

    or maybe the samurai honour code, compelled him to throw himself into her mouth?

    Banzai Indeed!

    :???:

     
  25. Natalie, 26, October 2004, 11:06 |  

    Also, there was an avalanche of rice coating her ample bosom. I had almost managed to block that memory forgotten that.

     
  26. Davezilla, 26, October 2004, 11:42 |  

    “Ample bosom” is such a kind way of describing what I would term, “pendulous teats”. :razz:

     
  27. Esther, 26, October 2004, 12:25 |  

    Blech. :dead:

     
  28. Lace Valentine, 26, October 2004, 21:20 |  

    Bilateral shrimp sucking? With tail crunching goodness?

    Oh the horror! the horror!

    :eek:

     
  29. And back from the crypt comes... HOBBIT!, 26, October 2004, 22:43 |  

    Wow… That’s a disgrace to shrimp everywhere.

    :dead:

     
  30. HamHa, 26, October 2004, 23:07 |  

    Truer words were never spoken, Hobbit.

    That’s almost as revolting as a freind of mine who’s going through his “I refuse to use my hands in any way to eat” phase.
    Ugh. :-?

     
  31. HamHa, 26, October 2004, 23:07 |  

    Truer words were never spoken, Hobbit.

    That’s almost as revolting as a freind of mine who’s going through his “I refuse to use my hands in any way to eat” phase.
    Ugh. :-?

     
  32. HamHa, 26, October 2004, 23:08 |  

    Yay! Hobbit’s back!
    Is it stinky in the crypt?

    That’s almost as revolting as a freind of mine who’s going through his “I refuse to use my hands in any way to eat” phase. :-?

     
  33. HamHa, 26, October 2004, 23:10 |  

    Whoa….triple post…ish.
    Sorry about that.
    Please don’t kill me. :wtf:

     
  34. Minnie, 27, October 2004, 3:05 |  

    Yuck, that’s disgusting. But… seeing your fantastic caricature made up for any rising nausea.
    I have missed your caricatures SO much; please, please do them more often! :-D

     
  35. blogs & bluffs (Trackback), 3, November 2004, 9:09 |  
     

    recordatorios
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